Survived..........

aaaahhhhh, the weekend is FINALLY here... it started out to be a bit pissing, cause during the middle of the week my boss informed me that i have to attend an event organised by my marketing manager this weekend... and as usual high-ho mighty-o of a bastard didn't inform the sales team on anything till the last minute.. u know why?! because my general manager asked him this simple question " you inform the sales team they have to be there right?!" and that was it... he was planning for this event for the pass 2 weeks, but conveniently failed to inform ANY sales staff because he want to be hero and do this all by himself... great right?! sigh.. so last minute inform means all of us had to cancel our appointments in the morning and make it la... just to save his fucking sorry ass... sigh... things we good hearted people do... but me being me, agreed to go, then said out loud in the office for all to hear "Sigh, here we go saving some people's backside so that they can keep their job".. asshole... actually right i really dun get it lor... i mean he has been "promoted" to biz dev mgr from the mktg mgr position like 2 months back and he is still in the office... can a person's skin really be so thick?! hmmm... dunno... let me know what u think...

-KrisLow-

Crazy Drivers

Driving in KL can get reli crazy with so many insane drivers around. These are some specimens u need to avoid:

Specimen 1
Royalty and menteri-s in their automobiles,with 20 police escorts (registration plates with some sort of kesultanan logo,small flag on front bumper,black-tinted windows).The outriders clear the traffic first,then VIP motorcade consists of many cars,all with hazard lights switched on. Every1 must give way...if not...

Specimen 2
Police cars,ambulance,bomba & other emergency vehicles. Since they help save lives, etc, they get the leeway.During heavy traffic,they use the emergency lanes, but still have to make way.

Specimen 3
Bus drivers,lorry drivers & taxi drivers.Commands the highest right of way among civilians.Drive near them at your own risk.

Specimen 4
Businessmen,politicians,tycoons,CEOs in their limo-s (Number plate with single digit/8888, found on roads after 9am or b4 5pm.Ahmat driver wearing uniform,usually doubles-up as bodyguard/assassin when the need arises). Big cars-Merz,BMW & Volvo.Since their time is FAR more important than ours,they must have the right of way.

Specimen 5
Rich man,contractor boss,spare-part shop boss, any big boss. Drives his own luxury car (Civic,perdana,sonata,SUV), cuts in & out of traffic like they own the road. Glares at you or show the 'middle-finger' if you slow dwn. Cutting queue at toll booths/traffic jams,always talkin on hp,dressed smartly,goldchain & bracelet.

Specimen 6
Mak Datin-s/Tai-tai's. Same as Specimen 5,but drives CRV,RAV4 ,etc.They only appear during non-peak hrs in suburbs only. Drives as if the road belongs to them,uses the honk frequently, wears DIOR sunglasses & cover their arms with sweater. Driving sucks big time.

Specimen 7
Mat & Ah Bengs racers. In their modified cars like Wira,Honda,Vios. They make the most noise & very annoying when you're trying to get some sleep. Black rims,loud techno music on stereo,muffler,black fake leather seats,car sticker like RECARO,HKS,RAZO, SPARCO,etc. Usually spotted during the night.

Specimen 8
Motors, & mat-rempits
I think they are the worst of the lot.I bet many of u encountered motorcyclists from hell.They squeeze in & out around ur cars as if it's their grandfather's road causing scratches on ur car or broken side mirrors.

Specimen 9
Old Uncles/Aunties
Drive old beat-up cars that looks like it is about to fall apart.But that's not the issue here.They drive as if they're on an evening stroll on the beach & they're always on the right lane.They're oblivious to any honks or flash & when u overtake them, they pretend not to see u!

Specimen 10
Poor,law-abiding people like us lah!!! dUh....!

-DiLow-

Survived...

i survived this week!!!!! and last's night m.e "have alcohol instead of insurance" session. you guys would be proud of me, i left at half past eight PM!!! ( i shall keep the amnt of alcohol consume in that hour plus pvt). but i left the party walking on my own feet, without doing anything scandalous. on monday..... muahahaa... i shall be pristine while the others hang their heads with various stage of guilt, frustration and embarassment. it's a sad culture, eh? pseudo corporate wankers. last night, in my more lucid moments, i was tempted to just throw it all away, drive home straight to penang and nvr leave agn. nasty. whats everyone up to this weekend?

Heloooo

La la la la la la,,,,,,,,,

erm...

i dont mean to annoy you but ...

pa·tience /ˈpeɪʃəns/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pey-shuhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

and of course...

pa·tient /ˈpeɪʃənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pey-shuhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	a person who is under medical care or treatment.

Patients.........

sometimes life is so frustrating.... there are times when u just wanna lift up ur hands and say forget it, i give up. but then as humans we continue to live and fight for whatever we believe or dun believe... we naturally vent, release and live on.. so here i am venting my frustrations about 1 moronic person who is officially the worlds biggest, idiot who doesn't know what he is doing, the most un-organised, moronic (i've said that, i know), stupidest, dumbest, assholic, idiotic (yes yes i said it again), egoistic, marketing manager... yes, this person is a marketing manager, now how this person EVER got this position i really do not comprehend.. the only valid reason i have as to why a person would actually get this position without brains, is by lapping and sucking and kissing every pair/pairs of balls he/she may come across during their tenure/career... makes sense?! an e.g for those who thinks i am exaggerating.. now this person has actually agreed to be a sponsor during a fashion show, now in return the fashion show organisers decide to provide each sponsor with a table to set & display their brochures, items and etc etc to promote themselves... now it's a fashion show, it's a close door event, but a very high end close door event.. now a NORMAL marketing manager would have done the proper preparations (i.e chose the decorations, inform colleagues in charge/request for colleagues assitance) and ensure that they themselves would be present during that day itself... you are afterall the marketing manager and is the spokesperson for the company... NOW this is what this marketing manager does.. This marketing manager approached the sales manager of the company to inform her/him that the marketing manager would need their help.. fair enough... but here is the catch, the marketing manager is going on leave for that date...... fine, so the marketing manager says bring your assitant along, you are only there to represent the company and nothing else.. informs the sales manager the event starts at 11.00am and that all sponsors are required to be there by 10.30am.. simple right?! but suprise suprise, on the day of event, the organisers called the office at 10am, demanded to speak to the sales manager and screamed (and i mean LITERALLY screaming) asking why are there no representatives from the company at the event, why no one has bothered to setup the table provided for and why is the sales manager STILL in the office at 10am when all sponsors were suppose to be at event to setup by 9am... great right?! ladies and gentlement, i introduce to you the worlds most screwed up marketing manager... and yet, after so many screw ups (notice that it is plural not singular) this person is still working for the company... why you must wonder... so do i.. for those who knows the answer to all, please leave a comment or two and educate me... educate me why people like these hold these positions when they OBVIOUSLY do not deserve it one tiny bit.... educate me why a person who is so egoistic, un-cooperative and un-organised can hold such a position... and trust me, this is only 1 of the manY maNY mANY MANY MORE incidents that has happened during my tenure.... for my beloved cousin who constanly hears me vent, she knows what kind of person am i dealing with... therefor, i am quite glad in a sense this marketing manager doesn't work close with me.. but now, i need to vent, because this week itself this person has almost manage to lose my client for me, all for the plain reason that this person arrogantly asked my client over the phone, "how come your organisation is so big and there is no one who is able to drive their car to work, just so they can swing by my office to collect the brochures" wonderful right?! what wonderful PR skills.. luckily the sales team did a quick damage control, can you believe it?! sales team doing damage control and not the marketing manager?! funny right?! sigh.... whatever man... i refuse to acknowledge this person's existence even till the day it dies....

-THE END-

-KrisLow-

Silence..

.... I woke up this morning thinking it was Monday already. It look a lot of convincing from my cube clock and handphone before I believed it's still Sunday. I was groggy like hell. Not surprising since I've more or less been sleeping since 2pm yesterday after the last of the "guests" from the party left. It was nasty, the party, not the people (well, maybe a couple of them were nasty, but they left early). Too much anticipation too little fun. If there's any good photos, I'll post 'em up tomorrow. Btw, those who live in the city (aka cicilisation, big bookshop is having another one of their clearance sale. Go check it out. Ending next weekend). Where is everyone else??? You've all been silent. I'm gonna go brave my myself for the coming week of crap and next Friday's company drinks (alcohol + stressed up people = SHIT). Hmm... I'm gonna go call mom & dad now. -MaddyLow-

MAKE LOVE ....NOT WAR.....

Hahaaha....i guess this will be the first post that is the earliest....u pigs definately still asleep....
-End- (_!_)....**** fart for u cousins

www.secretgarden-aaron.blogspot.com

I'M BACK!!!

muahahahahaha! eh how u know we started this blog just b'cos of u?! *pukez* *vomitz* i know we are sweet, but no need to announce to the whole world! muahahaha.. ppls introducing our fat cousin in PG.... eh btw, kor, when u going to move ur ass down here for a visit? basket... faster la.. either that or start producing something.. *ahem* *ahem* u know what i mean right... ;-) you always say no time la, cannot move la.. eh ur bum bum not that fat ok... move it! ;-) you got to move it, move it, you got to move it, move it........

-KrisLow-

ya ya ya

without name more sexy ma....keep in touch ya ya. stay so near also need blog to keep in touch...tsk tsk.......only wanna keep in touch with me is it? aawww that's so sweet.
everybody kris low is sick. poor thing got no voice. her silence is deafening.
just had laksa and rojak with adrian low and his gf. ...... ( stop drooling pigs ). much more delicious compared to bugs and scorpions! till next time. signing off -terrence- happy???

sicko brain!

which moron is posting and not signing off... eh the original idea for this is for us to keep in touch and to update each other abt what we are doing... not post up sicko comments on who is going to eat who.. DUH! eh come one man, start signing off... and btw, FRAN LOW DID BLOG!! r u BLIND?! sigh...

-KrisLow-

Signing off..!!!!

Eh.... can you guys sign off with your initials or names or whatever? It'll take 30 extra seconds, thats all. And it's not rocket science.

Please and thank you.

-MaddyLow-

Hhmmmm

looks like fran low IS the lean mean eating machine. anything and everything goes. like i said Kris low u can run but u cant hide. one day he's gonna eat u......not that way sicko....

what the hell?

over the past few days there has been a uproar over the cousins presidency position. i have even received a couple of legal letters regarding defamation. as hard as it is for me and u all, i have decided with immediate effect to step down. i know i know stop crying. they might have won the battle but not the war! wisemen once said " i"ll be back to cook sambal"!
this blog sucks. how come those cuz fr me generation is not chiping in? namely ivan, fran, ??
can somebody pls bang their head to pen a few lines?
to yellow fella the only way to regard yourself as a true blue low is to be fat. that is why ppl like u and me are always on the receiving end. speaking of that i suspect those yellow man fr the digi commercial are actually related to us. they ARE fat. the truth is out there ( theme from x-files ). could be the sons of our long lost uncles. seek the truth and u shall find. wisemen once said " oi lu buta ka"?!!!

Abu ABuuu Gaa.....Cak

Hlelo erevy,
Oh , wlel nhotnig mcuh to say ...Knida terid form tdyoas wrok .
And I jsut cmae bcak form yum char wtih fierdns.
If you can raed tihs taths maen you'r namrol. Cheers.....


www.secretgarden-aaron.blogspot.com

long betong weekend

being so hitech with computers and gadgets and all, this is my first time posting a blog.

it all started over 2 beers( err...maybe a few....or errr more than a few....u get my point). 2 frens wanted to go to Betong, Thailand the bodering town of Pengkalan Hulu, Malaysia. it took much persuasion b4 i slightly raised my voice and said "Y? U THINK I SCARED TO DIE AH" from the talks on all the bombings and killings and all. see what kinda trouble alcohol can get u into?

there i was at 3.30am friday morning in his car the 4 of us including my wifey, and still asking her...u scared ah??? u scared ah???. reached the malaysian immigration and wanted to ask the officer "ada bom kah" and was afraid i would be given a " takut lagi mari ah" answer.

at the thai immigration, asked the ppl there......any bombs lately?.......the reply was.... no not this few weeks. damn alot of good the answer did me. suddenly it was the first time i wanted to chicken out from going to the land of sin. TOO LATE!!!

headed straight to my fren roberts hse of course after some heavy alcohol shopping at the duty free. he was on his way out to sell fried bugs on his motorised stall. had our version of the fear factor.....uuurrrggggghh....gross stuff man.

My wife, the fear factor champion ate this....its an insect which lives in the water, smells like cockroach and is abt 3" long.












I did the scorpions.....dun believe, hv abt 10 in my fridge.













2 b continued..........can't get the hang of blogging and arranging the pics.arrrgghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!


-FranLow-

time time TIME!!!!!!!

u c this is what happens when a bunch of cracked up cousins start a blog page and all of us have access to the page.. muahahahahaha, we just blog shit as and when we like with whatever we like to say... yes yes we had a damn long weekend, but it is not going to be as long as the weekday! shit man someone cut us a break... i mean for how long can we work and not take a break?! i need to breathe!!! ARGH!! but seriously ppl, how many of u feel that a 2 day weekend is insufficient.... doesn't help that we can't cramp all our activities *ahem* into one weekend.. damn it WE NEED MORE TIME!!especially since there are so many of us.. sigh, we should all be given a 2 week holiday where we just sit back, shit, sleep, eat and doo all our 'other' activities... hehehehehehehehehhe..

someone pass the motion of needing more days off...

QUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-KrisLow-

Ultilising the company's facilities..

... to blog & rant!!!!

Muahahahaa.....

Why can't we have 3 day weekends anyway.. 2 days are not enough.. See ah, one night for partying, one day to get rid of the hangovers, then one night to chill out, and one day to clean and do groceries and run errands, then the whole weekend is gone already.. Where do we get time to err... relax???? With one extra day off, we would come bck to work happier and more productive instead of using time to blog instead. See? Someone go draft a letter to the Ministry of Labour of whatever...

Then we'll get our fat mysterious "presidumb" sign it and send it.

-MadLow-

sNiPiTs....

For everyone's information,here are some snipits of last night. Gimme more time to upload the rest of the pictures.I need time & mood to edit some of them. & btw, im not pretty...im innocent! *blink*blink* :p Feedback,comments,feedback,comments on this pretty photo??? Cool leh....there's alot more to come, like.......the mangkuk tandas case...the retarded faces....the chewing gums???hahaha...i'll be back....

Signing off,

-DiLow-

i'm on to you...

i know who you are, so called president. calling me wh4 was a mistake. besides, i learn from you. just so you know, i am so not wh4. im more towards mh4 (mo hai sei). nuf said.






the real terlow

*ahem*

u c, we are cracked at many places... some more than others... the most crack happens when we all get together... hmmm.....

*if u r family n u noe it clap ur hands*

-KrisLow-

Yellow Coverage Fellow...

I reject the fact that I've been labeled "Too Yellow", for the simple reason that I've been mistaken for a malay, indian and even punjabi but never CHINESE! If anything... I'm simply too 'muhibah'. I'm proud to be CHINESE, proud to be MALAYSIAN... and most of all proud as hell (or heaven... which ever rocks your sampan) to be a LOW!

I have haven't the slightest clue why this blog is named 'Cracked Cousins', but if anything, I guess people who have met anyone of us must think we start each day with a snort of 'coke'.

Having said that... not all of us are that cracked... there are those who have their heads firmly locked on their shoulders (like Calvin Low... *ahem*).

For all my other cracked cousins out there... here's a *FART* just for you.

-CalLow-

gulp..

this is what happens when there are no adults, too many cracked cousins, whom btw have not caught up with each other in a long time, and of course with alcohol in hand! but aren't we all a doll? hehehehehe....

crackers

you c ppl.. this is what happens when the Low get together and start up a blog! stupid shit! can't get cousin's name right then leave out a couple of cousins.. then talk non stop abt farts... Mad low beware i know some ppl who has deadlier farts than u.. muahahahahahahahahha.. you cannot run OR hide!!! muahahahahahahahaha!! ok, since i am the fourth person to bloddy blog! i shall the first to post a photo!

mua hahaha

nobody will know who am i. like i said those who defy me shall feel my wrath. my farts comes with fat seeking war heads. kris low u can run but u cant hide.
my identity shall be unknown for all eternity! as the 1st president of the cousins i suggest to change the name to fatcousins.blogspot. seconds?

SECOND!!!!!!!

alright. now since i m here i would like to suggest a nomination of cousin's president. here are the list of nominated ppl.
1. Ivan Yang- too old
2. Juliet Yang- too rich
3. Simon Yang- too hairy
4. Mad Low-too short
5. Terry Low-too wh4
6. Audrey Low- too good
7. Calvin Low- too yellow
8. Chris Low-too fat
9. Fran Low-too thai
10. Grace Low-too indian ( no offense to Kennedy )
11. Adrian Low- too bi
12. Alvin Low-too mechanical
13. Aaron Low-mia
14. Vincent- too quiet
15. Tammy-too motherly
16. Alex-too wuss
17. His sister-too pretty

to all the other cuzz that i miss out sorry. better luck next year.
looks like i m the only one left. thank u. i will lead u ppl to a new greater height. the grass will be greener on my side!

to those who dare defy me as God as my witness i will hunt them down and sit and fart on their face. and trust me when i say this ....MY FART will come with some residues that will stain your face for as long as u live! a pungent smell will follow u up to heaven or hell. AND u will get rejected by both. nuff- said

First!!!!

I'm first to post something!!!! Wohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Work in progress, this blog is.
Err... that's all...
-MadLow-